Anyone can slay a dragon, she told me.: Messed with Your Slacks But Ended Up Just Holding Your Hand

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: Name: Lindsey Jayne; Location: Sheffield / Tuscaloosa, Alabama, Bangladesh

I have some sort of disease where you hallucinate and start to not believe in love, but after a year or two, or even sometimes ten or twenty, it cures itself and all that's left are a few little red spots that twinge and ache whenever you get too near someone else that has the disease and it's all you can do to stop from reaching out and holding them close. I haven't started to make sense of the world yet but I think it's beautiful all the same.

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I only do this until I get dizzy & then I lay down on my back & watch the clouds, she said. It sounds simple but you won't believe how many people forget the second part.

You may not remember the time you let me go first. Or the time you dropped back to tell me it wasn't that far to go. Or the time you waited at the crossroads for me to catch up. You may not remember any of those, but I do & this is what I have to say to you: today, no matter what it takes, we ride home together.

Liking each other because it's a beautiful day & it seems like a waste of time to disagree about stuff the other one is refusing to change out of sheer stubbornness

This is a giant block of whatever is most difficult for you to carry & trust me on this, you'll carry it more times than you can count until you decide that's exactly what you want to do most & then it won't weigh a thing anymore.

We had gone far enough together to listen easily in the quiet spaces.

They came to sit & dangle their feet off the edge of the world & after awhile they forgot everything but the good & true things they would do someday.

I'm not so good at taking my own advice, she said, but that doesn't mean I don't know what's right.

I was waiting for such a long time, she said. I thought you forgot. It's hard to forget, I said, when there is such an empty space when you are gone.

Everything changed the day they figured out there was exactly enough time for the important things in their lives.

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Sunday, April 02, 2006

Messed with Your Slacks But Ended Up Just Holding Your Hand

A month and a half til summer! (yay)

As much as I love Tuscaloosa, and everyone and everything here, I have to say that I'm sick to death of it. Of everything. There are clouds of apathy and discontent on my horizon, and the only thing that can hold them off is change. I need new people to be pissed off at, new inside jokes, new paths to walk- I need a new routine. Can I last a month and a half without it?

We'll see.

At the beginning of this semester it seemed like permanence, was a thing of the past and the future, and I was sad about it. I wanted to live in a place that I called home, where I could put nails in the walls and carpet the floor. Like I wrote about before, I missed college before it was even gone. I was already dreading the changes that summer would bring. Funny that the very thing I was dreading is now my biggest comfort.

I do love you kids though, don't get me wrong. I'm just restless.

2 Comments:

Ryan Cooper said...

Summer will be here before you know it! Then we can all get rested up and come back...and do it all over again. For three more years.

Did I mention you're awesome?

at 12:22 PM

Grace said...

We both had some fun, though I twice bit my tongue, and it lasted to long for my taste...

at 3:33 PM

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