I'm sitting in my living room at home- with Ryan Spain asleep in my grandfather's chair, and Rachel and Genevieve are laying with their heads on opposite ends of my couch. Ryan Cooper is kicked back in my dad's Lazyboy, and the adorable Bo is sprawled on the floor by my feet.
I feel obliged to be content, but for some odd reason... I'm not. First of all, I miss Mario very much. It's hard to be here without him, equally hard to remember that he's gone. I havne't cried over him, and when I do, you will all be very surprised and my timing will be horrible. Actualization can come so suddenly.
I also wish that Andrew was here; my heart hurts for him lately and I don't know how to make things okay. Here's to you for taking things so well- I didn't think you had it in you. Anyway, I miss you.
I miss a lot of things. Things that I can't explain or describe or even understand. It's not like that "you don't miss something til it's gone" because it's not something that I feel like I even had.
I keep meaning to write a good blog... I will eventually... I promise.
I feel obliged to be content, but for some odd reason... I'm not. First of all, I miss Mario very much. It's hard to be here without him, equally hard to remember that he's gone. I havne't cried over him, and when I do, you will all be very surprised and my timing will be horrible. Actualization can come so suddenly.
I also wish that Andrew was here; my heart hurts for him lately and I don't know how to make things okay. Here's to you for taking things so well- I didn't think you had it in you. Anyway, I miss you.
I miss a lot of things. Things that I can't explain or describe or even understand. It's not like that "you don't miss something til it's gone" because it's not something that I feel like I even had.
I keep meaning to write a good blog... I will eventually... I promise.
1 Comments:
You'll see one day when you move out, just sorta happens one day, it's gone. You feel like you can never get it back. It's like you feel home sick for a place that doesnt even exist. Maybe it's this rite of passage, you know? You won't ever have that feeling again until you create a new idea of home for yourself, you know, for your kids, for the family you start. It's like a cycle or something. I don't know, but I miss the idea, you know? Maybe thats all family really is- a group of people who miss the same imaginary place.
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