So Would I Be Out of Line if I Said "I Miss You"?

One of the great things about everyone being estranged from one another is that everyone updates their blogs, and that's fantastically exciting, but also kind of tragic, because everyone is missing each other so much.

It's weird how there are different ways of missing people. Like, when you miss someone, and you know that they miss you back--well that's really hard because you both know that the other misses you too, but there's noting you can do about it. This kind of missing makes you really upset about circumstances, but at the same time, you at least know that you're missed too, and I think that's comforting.

And then there's the kind of missing people where you know that they're doing something really exciting, so it's not that they don't miss you, but they're not thinking about you. This one sucks--well, they all suck, but this one in particular--because you get that awful realization that life goes on without you. And that people seem to have just as much fun when you're gone.
Sometimes when I get in this situation I have to convince myself, and later, whomever I was missing, that I was having a fabulous time as well--probably a more fabulous time than he or she was having. That makes me feel a little better, especially because sometimes when you convince yourself that you're having fun, you actually have more fun than you thought you would. But overall, it's a pretty silly tactic.

There's also the pretty painful kind of missing that you feel when you want to be with someone who does not want to be with you. The fact that he (I'm going to just start using "he" instead of "he or she." I'm not PC ok, but I pronoun anecendents are a petpeeve) Anyway, the fact that he doesn't want to be with you when you do want to be with him makes you feel very unloved and unhappy. The worst part about this one is that you're not going to get to be with this person again, so the only way to stop missing him is to hate him, which is pretty much not fair, but oh well.

Then there's the kind of missing someone when you know he's not coming back. Actually, that was just a euphimism. What I meant was, "Then there's the kind of missing someone when he's dead." The other kinds of missing someone aren't even in the league with this one, and I'm not going to talk about it really because that's aother post for another day altogether.

These all still have that common feeling though. It's like you can't stop sighinh in your head, and every single though you have is followed by a tiny little esacpe of breath- a tiny little reminder that someone who should be with you is not. Sometimes you just stop missing people, but I think that other times the sighs of your thoughts just get to be somethings you don't notice, kind of like a clock that's constantly ticking. BUT once the missing is finally over, you definitely remember what life was like before that, and what a fantastic relief.

Er.. this post made me feel better and worse at the same time. I feel better about people I miss in the first way, but worse about people I miss in the last way.

hmm... sigh...