There's No Combination, No Words I Could Put on the Back of a Postcard.

I'm hoping this will be a long post, because it'll most certainly be the last one for at least eleven days, and I have lots to write about. Or, about which to write. You just witnessed an internal battle of Desire to be Grammatically Correct vs. Fear of being an Anal Retentive. I'll let you decide who won. Also, in case you were wondering just what "anal retentive" actually means, (because I was wondering just that!) it is defined as

"Indicating personality traits, such as meticulousness,
avarice, and obstinacy, originating in habits, attitudes, or values associated with infantile pleasure in retention of feces."

Um... ew. My reading that definition =score one for Fear of being an Anal Retentive. At the same time, I'm wondering if it shouldn't be "anally retentive"? If one can be "anal," then anal is, in this case, an adverb describing how one is retentive-- isn't it? Oh me, if only you kids knew how I stress over grammar, and I just can't seem to quit. I guess if I have to be stressed about something, and I do, grammar is at least a cause about which I can be passionate. AND, if I can't stop stressing about it, then there's no point in my stressing about stressing.

Oh me, this is not where I was intending to go with this post at all.

I've officially survived my first session as a camp counselor with her own cabin and lots and lots of responsibility! I, for one, am proud of me. I woke my campers up on time every day! I made them all take showers almost every night! I even had fun doing it all. I really like kids. Well, most of them... I will admit that two of those little bitches got on my nerves, and I could've had more patience with them. But two out of eight... actually, that's one fourth of my cabin, so maybe I'll work of that being nice to kids I don't like thing.

But nine year olds should NOT ask me what time it is 7 hundred thousand times a day. Analog clocks are hard.

Also, I forgot to do in cabin bible study with them one out of two days that I was supposed to. I decided that was okay though, because I'm only half Episcopal any way.

In other news, I bought I ton of national geographic magazines from the 70s and 80s. I'm using them to collage this ond suitcase that I bought at the thrift store. I also got some used picture frames for 25 cents apiece to collage. I consider myself pretty darn crafty. The cool part is that I was just intending to cut up all of the magazines, but I ended up reading most of the articles, which were mostly about the USSR and new technology called fiber optics. Also there are advertisements for microwaves.

I'm spending a lot of time with myself at camp, and, I've decided that, although I really like myself, there are some things that I maybe should work on. Coincidentally, one of those things that I decided to work on is remembering that I need to be happy with myself. As you can see, with this being the first thing I decided to work on, I get a little unconcerned about the rest of the necessary changes because, hey, remember? I like myself already! Number 2 on the list is remembering that I'm not necessarily the only one who matters. And that people who I do not like are still people, and I should be nice to them, without being fake nice.

Also, I need to make up my mind, or maybe just stop talking. Because things just pop out that I don't mean at all, and that's not a big deal when I'm telling you that I used to live in Haiti, but it is a big deal when I'm telling you that I just need some time and maybe some space when that's not really what I need to be saying at all. I really wish that someone would just go ahead and hate me to teach me the lesson I deserve. Or that it would just dawn on me.

Do things dawn on you, kids? Cause the important things never come to me so gently as dawn seems to some. I think things have to erode into me.

I fearlessly removed a grandaddy longlegs from the shower in my cabin, without even killing him. Well, I was outwardly fearless. Or, fearless when compared to the screaming 8-year olds around me. Anyway, it's really important to me that my campers hopefully left camp thinking that it's really not fair to hurt something or someone just because you think that you have more of a right to this planet than he does. Cause maybe do, but also, maybe you don't.

Also, it's nice to know that there's a spider out there who owes me one. Interestingly enough, grandaddy longlegs are NOT in fact, the most poisonous spiders in the world with a mouth that's too small to bite humans. I saw that on MythBusters, and it was, most assuredly, busted. Their venom is, however, virtually harmless to humans.

I still think I'm pretty brave for catching one in a cup. Also, I'm always going to be scared of grasshoppers and those beetles with the giant fang looking things. I looked for a picture of them on Google but just looking at different kinds of them kind of scared me, so I stopped.

You know which ones I mean though.

This blog is ridiculously long. Go back and read the whole thing some time though. I'm telling you, it's a good one.

Well if I was in your position, I'd put down all my ammunition; I'd wonder why it had taken me so long.

I can't always be waiting on you.