Thursday, April 13, 2006
Some Had Crumbled You Straight to Your Knees
(did it cruel, did it tenderly.
some had crawled their way
into your heart
to rend your ventricles apart)

i guess today wasn't the some day you intended. Pretty sure I realize though.


What the hell did I just do? And why?


God, it's not as if I said anything we didn't already know is it? I'm pretty much as transparent as you are opaque. Ironic that I, of all people, should shatter the lie that I need so badly to believe. Why, why, why the fuck would I do that?

Why did I let any of this happen in the first place?

Why can't I believe any of the thousand lies that everyone else seems to swallow like candy? Or does anyone believe any of it at all?

Here's the truth ladies and gentlemen, since I'm apparently in the mood to shatter facades like crystal chandliers. The truth is I bring everything upon myself. The truth is that I would rather be your doormat than your nothing at all. The truth is that I would trade my happiness for yours every time. And I want to.

I love you as much as I hate myself. That's the truth.


2 Comments:

Blogger Grace said...

I want so badly to believe that there is truth, that love is real; and I want life in every word to the extent that it's absurd.

I know you're wise beyond your years but do you ever get the fear that your perfect verse is just a lie you tell yourself to help you get by?

Blogger Ryan Cooper said...

Language as power. Our perceptions of reality depend on our construction of it through language. Illusions...

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