These Are Funny Because I Say They're Funny.

http://www.whiteninjacomics.com/comics/atoms.shtml

http://www.whiteninjacomics.com/comics/emotions.shtml

http://www.whiteninjacomics.com/comics/bloodbath.shtml

http://www.whiteninjacomics.com/comics/job.shtml

I've Been Dying to Get Out, and That Might Be the Death of Me.

Really, I come up with about three hundred thousand good blog topics a day, but then it comes down to it, and I'm too lazy to write about anything significant.

If You Don't Like My Fire, Then Don't Come Around

I wrote this Friday morning... just now published though.

Remind me that I want to stick to alcohol from now on. I hate being in slow motion. I hate being giggly and stupid. Last night was not for me, because I want to be anxious and excited, and I can't, so when I spend the whole time fighting that sort of dull relaxation. I can see why people would like it, but it's not for me. Every muscle in my body feels strained today.

On a positive note, there are empty bottles in Andrew's room, and they're sitting in front of a fan. When the fan oscilates, it blows over the bottles and it sounds like angels. I listened for like 2 hours last night, and that was kind of wonderful.

I'll Be Your One Last Time If You'll Be My One Last Chance

Yeah, I am kind of pathetic.

At this point, I'm okay with it.

It's about to be the end, right? Right. And I always hated those 360 endings. This is me saying goodbye to my freshman year of college. Chalking it up. Moving on.

Let me blame it on summer, let me blame it on distance, let me blame it on growing up and moving on. Let me blame it on anything but me, ok? Cause it's about time I stopped doing that.

Let me pretend this is mutual. Was mutual? Three more weeks.

In Other News, I Accidentally Dyed My Hair Black

Ok, here's my little survey thing for Grace and Ryan Super Cooper.. Grace is in green, and Ryan's in a different color green. (I'm feeling monochromatic)

1. Random thing:

• Grace, you can't stand for the volume to be on odd numbers.
• Ryan, you keep Diet Coke in business.

2. I'll tell you what song/movie/book/fictional character reminds me of you.

• Lilo, from Lilo and Stich
• Chandler, from Friends (I don't really know why?)

3. I'll say something that only makes sense to you and me. Or at least me.

• Just because I don't hate you doesn't mean I don't wish you were dead!
• Yes, the bunnies are something we don't quite understand yet, but that doesn't mean the theory is flawed!

4. I'll tell you my favorite memory of you.

• Special Session, the first time I went, when you had Lucy. You pretty much glowed the whole time. It was incredible.
• When we were at Mrs. Anders' house, and it started to snow. At one point you were the only one outside (I saw you out the window), and you just stood there with your hands up in the air with the snowflakes all around you. Your expression was angelic.

5. I'll tell you what animal or plant of which you remind me.

• A gosling.
• A baby seal.

6. I'll ask you something that I've always wondered about you.

• Can I hit that?
• .. Again?

7. If I do this for you, you must post this on your journal.

Language Just Happened It Was Never Planned

Hhhhmmm...

I wish I could find a song to go with what I'm feeling right now. Nothing quite seems to fit. I really wish I could describe how I'm feeling right now at all. It's tough these days.

I guess I'm feeling pretty average.

This Paper Is Good, But It Needs More Christmas

1. Reply with your name and I'll respond with something random about you.

2. I'll tell you what song/movie/book/fictional character reminds me of you.

3. I'll say something that only makes sense to you and me. Or at least me.

4. I'll tell you my favorite memory of you.

5. I'll tell you what animal or plant of which you remind me.

6. I'll ask you something that I've always wondered about you.

7. If I do this for you, you must post this on your journal.

"Lifted" or "The Story is in the Soil; Keep Your Ear to the Ground."

Some times I let my emo side run away with me.

I'm really much more ok than I seem. I promise.

Some Had Crumbled You Straight to Your Knees

(did it cruel, did it tenderly.
some had crawled their way
into your heart
to rend your ventricles apart)

i guess today wasn't the some day you intended. Pretty sure I realize though.

What the hell did I just do? And why?


God, it's not as if I said anything we didn't already know is it? I'm pretty much as transparent as you are opaque. Ironic that I, of all people, should shatter the lie that I need so badly to believe. Why, why, why the fuck would I do that?

Why did I let any of this happen in the first place?

Why can't I believe any of the thousand lies that everyone else seems to swallow like candy? Or does anyone believe any of it at all?

Here's the truth ladies and gentlemen, since I'm apparently in the mood to shatter facades like crystal chandliers. The truth is I bring everything upon myself. The truth is that I would rather be your doormat than your nothing at all. The truth is that I would trade my happiness for yours every time. And I want to.

I love you as much as I hate myself. That's the truth.

If I Were a Butterfly, I Would Thank You, God, for Giving Me Wings, But She's the One I'd Credit for My Knowledge of Flight.

My older sister is the reason that I am a cool person.

Grace called me today and moved me to tears with her sheer selflessness. Seriously, if you aren't in love with my older sister, you probably don't know her. If it weren't for Grace, I would be shallow, selfish, and pretty dull. She's the reason I like myself. I trust her more than any other person in the world. I depend on her more than she knows.

I know that you're reading this Grace, so it's weird to talk about you as if you weren't, but I want you to know that when I said you're my hero, I wasn't kidding. Some times I start to worry that you're so busy helping everyone else with their wings that you're missing out on flying, but really, I don't think that's true. I should really be worrying that everyone, including me, forgets that you've been flying all along.

Honestly, when I stop and think about you as a person, it brings tears to my eyes. You're phenomenal. You're successful. Especially now that I'm in college I realize all that you've overcome, and how amazingly strong you are to have come out on top. I really think that what's got you so unsettled at the moment is that you were born for bigger things, and that's hard. I mean, you're successfully living on your own with people you love, working, in college... it's a dream, but it's not a dream, because you were born to save lives and write poetry and teach people how to love again.

You're not overwhelmed, you're underwhelmed, and there is just so much and so little to be done right now.

If you want to sell everything you own and take off across America, I have absolute faith that the world rearrange itself to accommodate you. If you want to go get artificially inseminated and have a baby, I say that's the luckiest semen in the world. If you want to drop everything and go live with someone hot who you met on the internet, I know beyond the shadow of a doubt that you'll turn that person into someone better than he was, and he'll know it.

I am infinitely sure of your ultimate okayness, and that's not something that I can say for a lot of people.

Grace, I don't know if you know this, but you taught me how to really love myself. You taught me how to be selfless without losing myself. You taught me kindness, you taught me tolerance, you taught me poetry. You're the person I call when I start to doubt myself; you're the reason I'm ok. As amazing as you are, the fact that you love me makes me sure that I can't be all bad.

Until I wrote this, I never really thought about how much I really aspire to be like you. I try to love people the way you love them, and I want people to think of me the way they think of you. I want to give people the kind of real peace that you give me.

I hope you know how grateful I am for you.

One Day I Slowly Floated Away.

It's 6:48 a.m. ladies and gentlemen. Why, you may ask, am I awake at such an ungodly hour? Well, my dears, I'm afraid I have no one to blame but myself. I am awake because I have a paper due in exactly 1 hour and 12 minutes, and I neglected to begin said paper until about 1:30 this same morning. I also neglected to read one of the books that said paper in on until 1:30 this same morning. So, I've just pulled one of those infamous college all-nighters. I'm finished now though, and all I have to do now is stay awake for about 2 and a half more hours. No problemo ladies and gentlemen, no prob-lem-o.

So, throughout these past two semesters, I feel like there's been this kind of pressure on me to be in a relationship, or at least to be looking for a relationship. Well, we're down to the final stretch, and so, the pressure's off! Yay. Guess what? I'm going to be at Camp McDowell all summer, so there's just no way I can enter a relationship right now. I don't know why that's so great, but, gee, it is.

Four minutes til I get to trot downstairs and wake up my dear Spyan Rain. It's pretty likely that he'll be very grumpy this morning. I don't know that for sure, but that's my bet. I'll fill you in on his mood status later, and I swear I'll tell the truth even if I have to lie.

Next week's resolution: prioritize sleep maybe? Or makeout with somebody new. I really want to make-out with somebody new.

Remember, Remember, the Fifth of November\ The Gunpowder, Treason and Plot.\ I Know of No Reason Why the Gunpowder Treason Should Ever Be Forgot.

If you haven't seen V for Vendetta, stop reading right now, and go see it. If you have seen V for Vendetta...whoa. I still can't stop thinking about it.


Evey Hammond: Artists use lies to tell the truth. Politicians use them to cover it up.


Creedy: Defiant until the end, huh? You won't cry like him, will you? You're not afraid of death. You're like me.
V: The only thing that you and I have in common, Mr. Creedy, is that we're both about to die.
Creedy: How do you imagine that's gonna happen?
V: With my hands around your neck.
Creedy: Bullocks. Whatchya gonna do, huh? We've swept this place. You've got nothing. Nothing but your bloody knives and your fancy karate gimmicks. We have guns.
V: No, what you've have are bullets, and the hope that when your guns are empty I will no longer be standing, because if I am you will all be dead before you've reloaded.


V: A revolution without dancing, is a revolution not worth having!


V: This visage, no mere veneer of vanity, is it vestige of the vox populi, now vacant, vanished, as the once vital voice of the verisimilitude now venerates what they once vilified. However, this valorous visitation of a by-gone vexation, stands vivified, and has vowed to vanquish these venal and virulent vermin van-guarding vice and vouchsafing the violently vicious and voracious violation of volition. The only verdict is vengeance; a vendetta, held as a votive, not in vain, for the value and veracity of such shall one day vindicate the vigilant and the virtuous. Verily, this vichyssoise of verbiage veers most verbose vis-à-vis an introduction, and so it is my very good honor to meet you and you may call me V.

V: Beneath this mask there is more than flesh. There is an idea, Mr. Creedy, and ideas are bulletproof.



...bollocks.

Messed with Your Slacks But Ended Up Just Holding Your Hand

A month and a half til summer! (yay)

As much as I love Tuscaloosa, and everyone and everything here, I have to say that I'm sick to death of it. Of everything. There are clouds of apathy and discontent on my horizon, and the only thing that can hold them off is change. I need new people to be pissed off at, new inside jokes, new paths to walk- I need a new routine. Can I last a month and a half without it?

We'll see.

At the beginning of this semester it seemed like permanence, was a thing of the past and the future, and I was sad about it. I wanted to live in a place that I called home, where I could put nails in the walls and carpet the floor. Like I wrote about before, I missed college before it was even gone. I was already dreading the changes that summer would bring. Funny that the very thing I was dreading is now my biggest comfort.

I do love you kids though, don't get me wrong. I'm just restless.